Pastor Tan Moy How, 01/07/2012
(Gah, notebook hanged. I need to retype the 7 main points.)
This is the third and final installment of the Reclaiming and Enhancement the Family series.
3Jn 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
Birth and death are two inevitable events in our life. In between the 2 events, we fill up with content, our life stories. What have we done in our life? How have we lived in our life? Who have we lived our life for? One of the main concerned of the content in this space between birth and death is parenting. This is for parents as well as uncles and aunties.
Introduction
“Go home and love your family.” ~Mother Theresa, when asked what we can do to promote world peace, after receiving the Nobel price of peace.
Seven lessons learned looking back.
1. Be a passionate lover
Husband must love his wife, wife must respect his husband.
Three words got Pastor Moy How’s attention when he reads the Bible.
M – Must
A- Always
N – Never
Eph 5:33 However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
The strength of the family depends on the strength of the marriage that builds the family. When the marriage relationship is well, the other relationships will be well. God is the glue of the marriage.
Husbands will do well to mark down what the wives like. Without love shown to wives, they will show no respect to the husbands. Without respect shown to husbands, the will not show love to the wives.
Love and respect in a husband-wife relationship is an unbeatable combination!
2. Be a great example
Character development.
1Ti 4:12 Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.
A good character stays with us.
“The best inheritance a father can leave his children is a good example.” ~Anonymous
3. Be quick to listen
To listen is the most important way of communications.
Jas 1:19 My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry
4. Be the loudest praiser
Encouragement
2Co 7:4 I have great confidence in you; I take great pride in you. I am greatly encouraged; in all our troubles my joy knows no bounds.
We need to verbalize our words of encouragements, don’t keep it inside. Children need to breath fresh air, meet with people of the other ethnic group and take up household responsibilities.
(This is what I do in the office. I am the cheerleader!)
5. Be ever praying
Never stop praying.
1Th 5:16-18 Be joyful always; (17) pray continually; (18) give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.
How to pray for your children? Pray
- To follow Jesus Christ as Saviour and Lord (Rom 3:23, 10:9-10)
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To be delivered from evil (Mt 6:13; Jn 17:15; w Thess 3:2-3)
- In Jn 17:15 we should pray the same prayer for our children as Jesus prayer for His disciples
- To lead a disciplined life (Pro 16:32)
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To have discretion (Eph 3:14, 16)
- Discretion is defined as discernment which enables a person to judge critically what is correct and proper, united with caution.
- To be diligent (Col 3:23; Ps 37:5; Col 1:9, 4:12)
- To discover the will of God for his / her life (Ps 32:8; Jer 29:11; Eph 5:17; Col 1:9, 4:12)
- To be fully dedicated to the Lord (Mt 22:37)
“Failure is an opportunity to learn great lessons.” ~From a Korean video series
6. Be the best time giver
Cultivate quantity & intentional quality time.
“The harried lifestyle that characterizes most Westerners (people now) leads not only to the isolation of people from each other in the wider community, it is also the primary reason for the breakdown of the family. Husbands and wives have no time for each other, and many of them hardly know their children. They don’t get together with relatives, friends, or neighbours because they are tyrannized by a never-ending “to do” list. Repeatedly during my research … I have face to face with same sad phenomenon. Parents were simply too distracted and exhausted to protect and care for their children.” ~Dr. James Dobson.
7. Be aiming for greater joy
Leaving a godly heritage.
Jdg 2:10 After that whole generation had been gathered to their fathers, another generation grew up, who knew neither the LORD nor what he had done for Israel.
The scary thing is that we can lose a whole generation.
3Jn 1:4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.
Give monthly allowance to our parents. In the Asian context, this is one way of measuring affection.
Questions for Discussion
- Choose one of the lessons learned (this is not only applicable for parents but for all age groups). How would you apply this lesson in the coming week?
- In the following week during the testimony slot share in your cell the transformation to give glory to God.
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