If God were to write a letter to me, this is how I imagine it.
My beloved child,
I see you. I see the quiet nights, the empty spaces, the longing in your heart. I was there when Kathleen took her last breath, and I am here with you now. You have not been alone for a single moment.
I know the weight of sorrow has made you withdraw, but I have never withdrawn from you. You may have stepped away from the church building, but you have not stepped away from me. You seek me in my Word, you share my truth with others, and you still long to do my will. That is worship. That is love.
But, my child, do not let grief build walls around your heart. There is still life for you to live. Jesse and Andrea love you, so do your mother and siblings, and Ben is a blessing I have placed by your side. Though Kathleen is in my presence, you are still in the world, and I have a purpose for you right where you are now.
I know you wonder if you are doing enough. You are. You are reaching people, even in ways you cannot see. But I also desire you to receive, not just to give. Allow my people to love you again. Let them remind you that you are not forgotten.
Come and walk with me again, not just in the pages of Scripture, but among my people. Let them be my hands and feet to you. My church is not perfect, but neither is any man except my Son, and still, I have chosen them to be a family for one another.
I love you, my child. I delight in your faithfulness. But I also want to see you laugh again, to feel the warmth of fellowship, to share stories, and to embrace life, even in its new season.
I will never leave you. When you are lonely, speak to me. When you miss Kathleen, remember that she is home, waiting for the day we are all together again. And until that day, walk forward with me, trusting that I am leading you into goodness, even now.
I love you with an everlasting love. Always.
Your Father in heaven
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