Ben and I visited my mom. I spent the whole day with Ben, as usual. I had a cell group meeting via Zoom at night.
11 July has come and gone. It would have been our 32nd wedding anniversary. This is the first one without Kathleen since she went to be with Jesus on 15 November 2024.
The firsts keep coming – Ben’s birthday, Christmas, New Year, Chinese New Year, Jesse’s birthday, her own birthday. Each one has arrived without her. And each one has felt a little emptier.
Do I miss her? Every single day.
Do I think of her? Constantly.
The memories are woven into the quiet of the house, the routines, the silences. The last few months with her was a blur. I still do not know how I got through them.
Life feels slower, quieter, without direction. I still have not find my footing. She was my anchor, my compass, my companion through everything. Without her, the days stretch longer, the nights feel heavier.
Jesse and Andrea spent one week with me. I cherished every second of it. Alas, they have their own lives. Only Ben remains with me.
Still, I believe this season is not the end of my story. One day, I’ll see the path ahead more clearly. One day, I’ll walk it with confidence again. There will be joy, purpose, even victory.
But today, I remember. I honour Kathleen’s love, her laughter, her life shared with me. And I trust that when the time is right, I will rise again.
Until then, I miss her. I love her. And I carry her in everything.
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