After my wife passed away on November 15, 2024, the world felt as though it had collapsed. Grief came in waves that left me breathless. In that dark valley, I rediscovered the ancient, biblical practice of lament, and it reshaped the way I write.
This post is part of the Writing Through Struggle and Healing series.
Turning to Biblical Lament
The Psalms became my guide. I returned again and again to Psalm 13:
“How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?”
Those words echoed what I could not articulate. Biblical lament follows a clear pattern. First, we cry out honestly to God. Then, we name the pain. Next, we ask for help. Finally, we choose to trust God’s faithfulness.
Even Jesus lamented. On the cross, He quoted Psalm 22. In doing so, He showed us that deep sorrow still belongs in the presence of the Father.
Because of that, I no longer felt guilty for my questions. Lament gave me permission to grieve without pretending everything was fine.
Applying Lament to My Writing
One night, unable to sleep, I opened my notebook. Following the structure of the Psalms, I began to write. I looked to God. I asked him about the empty house. I told him the ache I had when I looked at her stuff. I pled for God to restore me, to give me strength and to trust Him. I told him I remembered his steadfast love. I acknowledged His faithfulness. I chose to praise Him.
I realized I must be responsible to my readers. I cannot lay upon them my pain. So, I always made it a point to process my grief and conclude with hope in my God.
Writing became my lament, a way to process grief without unravelling.
From Lament to Hope
As weeks turned into months, the pages grew. I found myself returning to Lamentations 3:
“The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning.”
Hope did not replace grief. Instead, it grew alongside it. Writing allowed me to hold sorrow and God’s promises in the same space.
Eventually, I shared small portions on my blog. I am especially thankful to those who told me my blog ministered to them. In that moment, private lament became shared hope.
A Practice for Fragile Faith
Writing as lament is not a one-time exercise. It is a rhythm. I grieve honestly. I trust slowly. I return again and again.
If you are walking through loss, try this. Take a notebook. Follow the Psalms. Let your words lead you from “How long?” to “I will hope in You.” God meets us there, gently weaving sorrow into hope.
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