We often treat spiritual growth like we’re standing in the rain, hoping to get soaked. We wished it can happen passively. We assume that if we hang around the right people, attend the right church services, or listen to enough podcasts (while we are working on something else), we’ll eventually absorb the faith we see in others. We hope spiritual growth is like learning by osmosis. We hold on to the idea that holiness will somehow seep into our lives through proximity.

It is a comfortable lie.

The reality is that you cannot grow in your faith by osmosis. You cannot download character through atmosphere. Spiritual maturity is not something that happens to you while you aren’t paying attention; it is a pursuit, not a byproduct of showing up.

The Limits of Proximity

The biggest problem with the “osmosis” mindset is that it turns you into a professional spectator. You might know the right vocabulary, understand the church culture, and even mirror the behaviours of those around you, but you remain unchanged on the inside.

Proximity is not participation

Sitting in a room with a master craftsman doesn’t make you a carpenter. You have to pick up the tools and learn the trade. Being around mature believers provides a template, but it doesn’t build your character.

The “Passive” Trap

We often treat Christianity as a “come and see” event. In truth, it is a “go and do” calling. When you wait for growth to happen to you, you become a consumer rather than a disciple.

Transformation requires friction

Growth requires moving away from your comfort zone. True change only happens when you intentionally expose your habits, your finances, and your thought life to the authority of Scripture – not just on Sundays, but in the mundane middle of the week.

The Foundation

“Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.” (Eph 4:15)

This verse assumes movement. It doesn’t suggest that we grow eventually; it frames maturity as a deliberate, active process. You aren’t meant to drift into holiness; you are meant to pursue it.

What You Can Do

This Is not going to be easy. Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is to identify one person who is further along in their faith than you are. This week, send them a message and ask if they would meet with you for coffee once a month. Don’t ask for a formal “mentorship” program. Just ask them to look at your life and tell you where they see a lack of discipline. Put the meeting on the calendar before Sunday ends.

I invite you to say this prayer.
Lord, forgive me for treating my faith like a background activity. Wake me up from the comfort of passive attendance. Give me the hunger to pursue You with intention and the courage to invite others into my – walk so I can truly grow. Amen.

Which area of your life – work, family, or personal habits – are you currently trying to apply this level of intentionality to? Do share.